Monday Pogue,

Another week begins full of adventures.

Well, as you are aware, I like to read and often pick up random books and articles. I think you’d say my tastes are eclectic and this week I found myself reading an article from a child psychologist who wanted to say that by the age of four we have formed our base character and this would determine how we went through life, our attitude to situations and people, our responses, our expectations and so on. I sat for a long while after reading this and, well, just kept repeating “Really” to myself. I mean, if this is accurate, what chance do most of us have?

Let’s think about this. If you’re the first child of your parents then they have no experience of raising children. There are no lessons given on child care and raising children so all they have is the experience of being raised them selves which may be good but could equally be poor. Then there are so many influencers about today. If I pick up a book on childcare there is, probably next to it on the shelf, another book with opposing advice🥴 Which is correct? And every person you speak to has an opinion! Then even the very best of parents get it wrong and drop the ball from time to time. So what chance does a child have of reaching the end of their forth year with healthy, well formed, emotions and responses to life? It’s a lottery.

Let me take a moment and say, once again, “Really?”

I find myself, burdened by hope, believing that there must be ways and means, beyond our forth year, to reverse or alter our approach to life. I am unable to accept that the next seventy or eighty years have in many ways been predetermined by my first four years of experience.

So here’s the thing. Should we take stock of our approaches and responses to life and the situations that come upon us? And having noted them, especially the consistent ones, decide whether they need to be addressed and, maybe, altered? I have come across people who have been through tough childhoods (often at the hands of parents who in turn had tough childhoods and that was the only model they knew). And, yes, the effect has been manifest in later years, usually in terms of their ability to perceive their own self worth and to accept love from others.

But there are ways to build a sense of self worth and there are people who will support that but it takes a desire to do so and some tough work. Me, I am thankful that I have been able to believe in a higher power and harness that belief. To believe in a God who is outside of our low opinions but able and willing to input into our lives. Not the judgmental god of so many religious gatherings who is waiting to send so many to a lost eternity but rather a god who is all about higher things and whose very image is manifest in each of us. Yes, often lost under the debris life has piled onto us but there, waiting to be found all the same. And it’s that recognition of possibilities for a better life, a better me, that starts the searching. I think the Bible says: “Made in Her image”. Surely that brings hope to every five year old who is reflecting on the previous four years!

So, lets start the week with hope in our hearts. Maybe, probably, some hard work to do if we are to be better people, if only for our own sakes, but there is a way. And for those who do not recognise a higher power? Well, hope springs eternal it is said, and I have to believe that there are possibilities here as well. Hard work, determination, but hope.

Remember, you are worthy of love and that love is out there in so many forms.

Yours, taking stock of things,

Wic.