Monday Musing

Morning Pogue,

I did something yesterday that I haven’t done in a while, I went to church.

You know I have a long and chequered history with the church and after being a regular attender for a long, long time, parted company with them. I would now say, when asked why I left, that the church did me in. It beat me, and all my high flying aspirations down, over and over. Believe me I tried hard, not to fit, but to realise what I thought I saw in the Bible. I mean, that’s what it’s all about isn’t it?

Apparently not.

I read about healings and miracles and thought, when I joined up, that was what I should expect.

Apparently not.

In fairness I’d have to say that there were a number who were very open to the ideas of an empowered Church, thought the same, but kept these thoughts to themselves. Not me. I learnt all I could, went to places I believed this sort of thing was happening, read books as well as the Bible. Found that Jesus promised his followers would do as he had done and more!

Then I started to tell people. Big mistake. Big, BIG mistake. Apparently “we don’t believe that here”, or, “that was only for biblical times” or anyone of a dozen reasons. Basically, this is our comfort zone, don’t mess with it. But, insensitive as I am I persisted and the institution resisted (good rhyme, ehh. There’s a poem waiting in the wings there). And as said, “they did me in”. So, in an act of defiance, and to preserve my beliefs, I left, my rebellious middle finger 🖕 pointing to the sky. I was angry, I was hurt, I was exhausted, and most of all I was frustrated because I knew a better day, a real live church was possible.

Years passed. On odd occasions I would visit a church, each time being put off by the organisation, the need to control the setting and the people (I guess that’s what religion does).

Did I lose faith in God you ask?

No. I found myself on an ongoing spiritual quest. God and me. I found God in other places. You know how the woods became my Church, but I found God in other texts, the ones I was not suppose to read. I discovered God is no respecter of men’s (and women’s 🤔) ideas. She can’t be kept within a series of rules and precepts. As C.S.Lewis summed this up, “Aslam, (Lewis’ God type) is not a tame lion”. And life becomes very exciting when we realise that.

So yesterday, I went to church. I went on my motorcycle so my arrival was not very discreet 🥴. Arrived late as the sat-nav didn’t really know where it was going. Sat at the back. Didn’t know any of the songs (as I’m 15 years behind!). Had a moment when the speaker invited everyone to turned to their Bibles and I expected them to produce a book and they all produced devices! (maybe I’m 20 years behind!). But it was OK.

They had an openness and an expectation. They believed God was there in a tangible way and were not put off by this belief. The Church was young and obviously finding its own level but I would cautiously say, on the evidence of only one visit, these could be my kind of people. I am not sure what they made of me in my leather biker jacket, quietly keeping his own counsel but quite apparently aware of God.

So, Pogue, I’m on a journey. How long? Well that’s for finding out.I’ve been a long time in the wilderness but then, so was Moses and look at all the trouble he stirred up 😎

Have a good one Pogue.

Yours, believing in a better day,


3 thoughts on “Monday Musing

  1. I get this feeling, dear Pogue. I actually had the same questions, especially on people using phones in church, but it’s obvious the world’s changing and soon enough I see no one carrying anything to church. People are tired of the sweet old, they’re looking for the outlawed new. Paul told his followers in one of his letters not to conform to the patterns of the world and aren’t these some of em? I don’t like the idea of people using the e-bibles on their phones in church. But change is inevitable all the same. If Jeremiah would wake up he’d wonder why people carry small books to church to church instead of those huge temple scrolls being opened up on their behalf, wouldn’t he?

    Liked by 1 person

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