Dear Pogue,

Have you ever been in a situation and found yourself thinking, “You’re better than that”? Maybe about someone else, maybe about yourself? Think about it for a moment. It can be a surprisingly powerful thing to say, simple as it is. Some would tell you “That was no good” or “That was hopeless” which are an immediately put down and engender a feeling of failure even in the most confident. But “You’re better than that” can speak deeply to us as individuals as it tells us someone sees the potential in us which is affirming and encouraging. Then it delivers the kicker because it tells us that we have failed to be the person we have the opportunity to become.

It sounds like failure. It speaks of falling short. But said right it’s immersed in encouragement to get up and do better. It says we believe in someone more than they believe in themselves or vice versa, someone sees something in us that is currently obscured to our view. Said with the right intonation it can sound kindly and be a voice of encouragement bringing a positive vibe and when delivered in this way I would suggest that we receive it.

My goal is not to be better than anyone else, but to be better than I used to be.

Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Thing is, I think we all know when we can do or be better. Oh yes, time is when we don’t necessarily apply the effort or face the consequences of being better. But, in the end, being our very best will turn out to be its own reward. So here’s encouragement to review what you do, what you are striving to be, in fact all that your life is. Don’t become critical. Don’t allow yourself to be harsh about your current achievements. If you are going to be kind in this world start with yourself. I am sure that the world does an adequate job of being unkind. Be gentle. Most people seem not to know the art of being gentle with others. They’re awkward about it, like they have two left hands. Being gentle is an art and has to start with ourselves. If we can learn to be gentle with ourselves then we can learn to be gentle with others. We give from what we have and no where else. You squeeze an orange and orange juice comes out. Only what is within can come out.

Maybe you’ll start over. May be you’ll pick up where you put down. Could be that you’ll do it more than once. Whatever. The thing is, you’ll know with surety when you’ve given your best and at that point you should be contented.

Eventually, you’ll end up learning how to separate yourself from people who aren’t on the same page as you. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

Reyna Biddy

In finishing let me add, be wary that you don’t try to do better than your best. Firstly, you can’t. If you’ve done your best there’s no more. Anything that comes after will detract from what you’ve done. Think of a painter who, having achieved the best she can then feels the need to apply more paint. The image is lost, stroke by stroke. Doing more does not always improve things. Secondly, you’ll take yourself to a bad place as you diminish the results of your own best efforts.

As a man once said, “Know yourself”. A wise piece of advice. Listen to yourself . Know when you can do better. Be gentle with others as you affirm their ability to excel beyond the current moment. Live your best life and experience the satisfaction.

Yours, looking to excel,

Wic