Morning Pogue,

I’ve had a week off from writing letters because, well, I just hadn’t got enough thoughts stored away to commit anything meaningful to paper. Sometimes the well runs dry and I need a place of silence to replenish myself. Know that one?

Anyway, you asked me a question and my mind has been turning that over because I did not have a compelling answer at the time. You asked me, “What is family?” The obvious answer would be those who you are related to and it is often said that “blood is thicker than water”. But I don’t buy into that one. I’ve known too many people who’s experience with those they are related too is anything but good and one or two where it’s been darned right abusive! ‘Family’ has often been idealised and it’s failings often ignored.

For me ‘family’ are the people who we accumulated over time and grow into your life. They are people who will add to your life and not detract, holding your best interest to heart even when telling you you’ve got it wrong. And there will be a commonality of ideas and thinking. These people are not to be measured by the time you’ve known them although wisdom dictates that everyone needs knowing for a little while before you really let them into your life. We need to understand that they are there for the long journey whenever they turned up. We need to appreciate what they add to our lives rather than subtract. Remember there is plenty of sham in the world so a little discernment can go a long way.

You are my people. This is where life is LIVED. These are the moments, the people, that makes life worth living. These are the people who make life beautiful. These are my people. THIS IS MY TRIBE.

artofabeautifullife.com

I find that I want to substitute ‘tribe’ for ‘family’. I want to talk about my ‘tribe’ to separate from the immediate definition people attach to the word ‘family’. Do I have a ‘tribe’. Absolutely! They are people who I am willing to be there for when they need some help. We share a whole lot of ideas and ideals but are comfortable disagreeing and mindful of the other’s values, aspirations and sensitivities when doing so. We also share each other’s joys and pains so there is often a mutual experience. In their presence I am permitted a little craziness and room to explore and express and they receive the same. And we are able to share the silence and not feel awkward or undone.

My ‘tribe’ has often revealed itself in my darkest moments by just being there and caring. By sharing the pain or loss and shining in the confusion life can deal out. Likewise, I feel the need to be there with them when times are not the best. There’s an ease being with these people in the good times, laughing together and just shooting the breeze.

Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you. Spend a lot of time with them and it will change your life.

Amy Poehler

Does that give you an idea of my ‘family’? I hope I’ve given some definition. And remember, you can’t do awesome shit without epic people like these in your life!

Yours, appreciating a little of what I have,

Wic