Dear Pogue,
Have you ever tried to be kind to someone and it hasn’t been received? There you were, out on the day, and you spotted a need, a gap, and having the means to fill it, you did. You did it quietly with no attempt to attract attention and you’d have thought that you’d committed an offence when it was received!
The questions come. Why did you do that? You should have asked me first. I don’t need your charity. All of a sudden there you are wishing you hadn’t done that thing!
I can understand that there are those who, needing to exercise control, dress their actions up as kindness to justify them. But that’s not us is it? We just come across gaps in people’s lives, dare I call them needs, and we respond by attempting to bring something good in. We see suffering and we want to do something to improve the situation. It’s who we are. Plus, we accept that there are battles going on in many lives we brush up against which we don’t know about so kindness is the most appropriate approach.
If an act of kindness is rebuffed what do we do next time? We are kind all over again. We are kind anyway because kindness comes from who we are and not who the other person is. The fact that some people are hurting and do not know how to receive a gift should not stop us. If it’s a matter of being right or being kind, choose kind.
For some, anything received incurs a debt and has to be repaid. For others there are trust issues stemming from the way they have been treated previously. In such situations you can be kind anonymously and the recipient feels no debt to anyone in particular. Choose your moment carefully because you may only be able to do it once or twice in certain situation. We don’t want to make it weird for the recipient do we.
If it thrown back at us we don’t give up, don’t get disheartened. We continue to lead with kindness. Again, kindness is dependant on you and no one else. It is an expression of who you are and what goes on in your life. It tells the world all about you in ways nothing else can. And remember, kindness is a universal language that even the deaf and the blind understand.
Speak eloquently.
Yours, trying to be understood by all in the coming week,
Wic.
Letters To Pogue 
This post hit me square in the my heart. Several years ago I planned a surprise birthday party for someone close to me. I turned this surprise into a family reunion and everyone who I invited came, some having to fly to our house. Day of surprise comes, everyone is in the house except the person whose birthday it is. Much to my surprise that birthday person was mad at me for blessing them with a family reunion. No words to express how hurt I was. Sad part, everyone waiting to surprise this family member were aware how upset the birthday person was. It was a good lesson for me because I realized that birthday person was dealing with much more then I knew at that time. As time has passed and I know more about that person. When someone cannot forgive themselves of whatever, everything, even good has to go through that shame and guilt grid. For sure I would never do that for that person again, or anything near that. But it has not stopped me from blessing others who are willing to receive. Me, trying to live a forgiveness life.
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