Dear Pogue,

What do you do when you “can’t see he wood for the trees”?

I used to wonder what that meant but now I’ve learnt, first hand!

I’ve been with someone who was so over whelmed by their situation that any suggested way forward was met with a tirade of reasons why it wouldn’t work. And after 30 minutes of denial of any possible solution I knew this was going no where. I called time out. Coffee break. Self preservation I’m thinking with a little retrospect.

Now I am thinking that there are times when situations can become so overwhelming to people that, from their perspective, there is no way out for them. All I could do was wait until the person ran out of energy, albeit real negative energy. And running out of that sort of energy isn’t a bad thing. If you’ve ever done a lifeguard course you’ll know you have to out wait a struggling swimmer until they no longer have the energy to pull you down as well in their struggle. Then, when they are worn out, you move in and assist. And that may be a good life lesson. Sometimes we have to watch someone struggle until they are overtaken by exhaustion before we move in and help. Then the resistance is gone. And, yes, I know that is hard at times, watching someone running around, struggling, but sometimes it is for the best. The important thing is to realise when to take this course of action

And my situation? The person, they were grounded when the energy ran out and we could then start working on the issue at hand. It was a quick fix really. A few hours. sometimes that’s all that’s needed. But there are times when the way out is a longer walk and that may be another story, but worth the telling in a future letter.

So don’t always rush in when you see someone in trouble. Sometimes the trouble just needs to burn out before things can be picked up and a solution offered. Let the heat dissipate. Then move things on.

Have a great week,

Wic