The Never Ending Journey

Hi Pogue,

The letterbox clanged and here I am, face up on your door mat. Perfect start to another mind bogglingly good day.

You were expecting another of the Universal Laws, yes? Well I’m still at it with the Laws but I’m struggling with the next one. I can’t quite get my head around it. So, needing to write, I’ve written this letter. I hope you enjoy it.

You know the saying that it is better to travel than it is to arrive? This takes account of all the excitement and expectation that we carry with us whilst we journey to our destination be that a place, a person or an experience. The expectation can come from a whole range of thoughts and emotions. Excitement as we near a loved one, wonder on the way to a fabled destination or the reverse end of the spectrum, dread as we near an unwanted encounter or experience, or a necessary meeting void of anything good.

My imagination is so wild and vivacious that I often find reality to be quite disappointing.

The MindsJournal

The travelling does not have to be measured in distance. It can be measured in time. Hours, days, months or even longer. And such journeys whilst, maybe, not to geographical destinations allow for all the same feelings to come into play. We’ve all made such journeys, indeed may even be on such a journey, currently musing over our final destination, turning it over in our thoughts like a particularly interesting pebble turned in the palm of the hand, examined and wondered at.

The thing is, however predictable we consider the finale of our travels, we cannot say with 100% certainty that “this is how it will be”. Add to that our recent letters on the way we can mould and create our own futures, the prospect becomes deliciously interesting, that is, assuming we head to a desired or enticing location. So we turn the possibilities over in our thoughts and create differing, maybe myriad different outcomes. Many outcomes will fall under the label of “best case scenarios”. Scenarios we’ve always dreamed of having but never quite got there, even in our most satisfying moments.

I have a good friend whose children conduct their relationships largely over social media or gaming platforms (I imagine, these days, we all know others who conduct the most meaningful areas of their lives from here). Friends are made, good friends, who are now trusted with personal information and assist with life choices. They give advice and guidance but have never been met or spoken too face to face. Some may have advanced to WhatsApp video chats and gained a deeper sense of personal connection, many don’t. And here, in these relationships, we have something about the journey, about travelling and not arriving, in play.

Perfection is an illusion &
those who seek perfection
will find themselves
unfulfilled their whole lives.

Anon.

You see, as long as I haven’t met that person I can make them just as perfect as I want them to be. They can be a wonderful shoulder to cry on because, unlike friends I drink coffee with, or sit with in lectures, of share a beer with, they are never put on the spot when I go all needy. They don’t have to react. They have the luxury of responding in their own time because, well, if you don’t get an immediate response to your text you assume they’re not there or away from their device while all the time they sit musing over your question. They have the luxury of crafting a well thought through, a well researched reply or of even eliciting the help of others before responding. You just don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, if they are a caring person the time lapse will allow sage counsel to be given. But not all are good as we have seen from those who groom young people.

There are destinations that we actually don’t want to arrive at and are very happy to continuing travelling because, well, that place, that person, that experience is just perfect at the moment and can remain so as long as the gap with reality continues. We have taken the experience that we currently possess, however much that may be, and we have polished it and tidied it and positioned it in the very best light so it is something to behold. In doing so we have created a place we can continue to go to in our dreams, a place we can continue to stack our hopes and project all we perceive as best in life. Our own little Nirvana.

It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.

Ernest Hemingway

So Pogue, here’s the question. Should we all allow ourselves a never ending journey with no intention of ever arriving? Should we cultivate those media only relationships with people we choose never to meet, to not stand in the presence of? Is this a form of escapism or a tactic that some use to survive? Maybe stark reality would just be to much, would bring my world crashing down. If that perfect other out there in the ether, the one who looks perfect, who says the right things whilst maintaining an air of mystery was finally met and turned out to be cross eyed with hair falling out, bad breath and a worse attitude, we’d really wish that we had kept travelling!

Yours, on the journey again,

Wic.

4 thoughts on “The Never Ending Journey

  1. After reading this, I have decided that perhaps I really do have a cynical side, ha ha!

    The thing is that while I have a wonderful imagination, and am certainly like to dream up my own scenarios and outcomes that are not really likely to ever happen – therefore journeying and never truly arriving – I am different when it comes to people.

    No one is perfect, least of all me. Over the years, I have made a lot of overseas online friends, where the journey appeared to always exist, and there would never be a destination. In building those friendships and relationships, I was careful to NOT allow perfection to enter the picture as I created images in my head of each of them. Not only to save myself from being disappointed, but also to protect our friendship by not ‘secretly giving them’ unrealistic expectations to live up to.

    I guess that when I deal with ‘people’, I view it differently. They aren’t MY fantasy – they are real souls that I want to connect with and get to know in an honest and open way so as to build and nurture real relationships despite the ‘online’ presence of it all. And my destination is preferably reached- how wonderful to meet them all in real life!

    I HAVE had the opportunity to meet two of my online friends in the last eight years. 🙂 Because we didn’t stay hidden behind online barriers and ‘perfect’ personas, and were open about many aspects of our lives, there was no disappointment at all – more just an acceptance of the little flaws we finally got to see and experience in person… and we’re all still friends 😉

    But yes, when you have an incredible imagination, reality is a huge disappointment! I often imagine situations and they turn out nothing like expected, and it’s a bit disappointing.
    But I just don’t seem able to extend that fantasy to people – although there are some movie and TV series stars that I’ll just keep in ‘their scenario’ and not dig too deep, because I like them where they’re at 😛

    Great post, Wic! Sorry for the long comment! 🙂

    Like

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