Dear Pogue,

Please forgive me this letter. I just needed to write. I think I need to ground myself and I’m probably talking to myself. Yes, I know, the first signs of madness. But it will be a good conversation!

I’ve had three busy weeks, which included a trip to Antwerp, full of people. I am, quite honestly, peopled out! And then I was ambushed! I thought this week was going to be a quiet week at home. Last weekend I shopped for a quiet week. Things I would like to cook. Then, without warning there was a guest to look after and give attention to. Time was surrendered. The menu plan went out the window as we ate out. I was going to bed later than usual, as I had also done in the previous week. I am short on dreams right now. Worst of all I still had to rise early, so I’m tired right now. Going on, say it: “Your such a whimp”. I’m going to get out that tee shirt that says “Total Whimp” and wear it with pride!

However, for a small space of time the house is back to normal. All I can hear is the clock ticking. Paradise.

It is only after periods like this that I come to realise how important quiet, privacy and space are for me. Indeed I am going to offer up that it is only in those places we come to realise our potential, even if we then have to go out filled with frenetic energy to realise it.

I know there are people who never cease from activity. Who live lives devoid of rest. Twitchy if compelled to stop and stand still. But I often find myself either wondering if they ever have the chance to develop depth or, asking what they are running from. Someone I know once commented on such people that their lives were filled with froth and nothing else. Was she right?

Now, tell me, if you were satisfied from filling your hours with rushing hither and thither (there’s two words you haven’t heard in a while) would your life be so wrong? Maybe, only if you were running away from something you didn’t care to face.

If I now spend two days in quiet, reading, writing, listening to my favourite sounds, is there anything wrong with that? Can I turn away impromptu seasonal invitations that come my way for no reason other than I really don’t want to do that right now? The answer is “Yes”. The struggle is within arising from fears that I will offend or disappoint. Sometimes I envy those who can say: “No thank you” and have no issues.

The point is, as the late Robert Palmer wrote:

Ooh it takes every kinda

To make what life’s about, yeah

Every kinda people

To make the world go ’round

Every kinda people.

We need to constantly become more accepting of those who occupy our space or cross our paths. At the same time we deserve to have tolerance in return. Acceptance that if I, or you, do that thing, live in that way, dress as we please, if it does no harm or offends no other, then I will bless you and you will bless me. I may choose to give you a wide birth on occasions because I have no place for your energy in my space, but hey, do your own thing.

Allow me the same understanding. If I choose “No” accept that I have a reason to do so. You may not understand why but cut me some slack all the same, and speak kindly of me as I will of you.

How easily damage is done when we substitute acceptance for judgment.

“She’s weird”.

“He’s not like us”.

Others latch on to this and, with no personal experience, draw damaging conclusions. Don’t fall into this trap. Base your judgements on your own experience. What you have observed and felt. Have you ever asked someone who is thinking poorly of another just why they think the things they do only to find there is no justifiable reason. Someone else thought it, expressed it and…it’s sheep we’re up against!

Rather, be rich and generous in kindness. It’s an amazing gift to bestow, a powerful weapon. We all want to feel accepted, to feel we have worth, that someone cares for us. Even those who need quiet and space should take kindness with them to fragrance that place. What a vibe to rest in. It adds peace. It let’s us know we will be welcome upon our return.

There, I have had a bit of a ramble. But as I said, I needed to write, just to ground myself if nothing else after a period of busyness serving others. For your part, send me something kind by way of a reply Pogue, while I wait on inner strength for the holidays are coming and how much demand will we both had made of us?

Yours, resting in the best of vibes,

Wic