Morning Pogue,

This week I’ve been answering the question “Do you trust me?” in my head as it would relate to other people. I think I’m a pretty trusting soul and perhaps have a tendency to overlook the faults and failings of others. I’m also willing to disregard my history with the person to enable them to have “one more chance”. Goodness, I sound like a push over. I must toughen up!

I’ve come to realise that, “Do you trust me”, is a very big question and one that should be given consideration before ever an answer is offered. It is not a matter of a swipe of the hand and an “Of course I trust you” because trust of a person extends over such a large area of behaviours and approaches to life.

What do I mean?

Well there are people who I trust to show up on time. And there are people who I know will tell me the truth. There are other people who give wise advice, and on and on. But I wouldn’t trust the advice of some of the good time keepers because well meaning as they are, they lack wisdom and perspective. Then I know a very honest person who is an appalling time keeper and if they said “Trust me, I’ll be there at 5pm” the only thing I would read from that is that they will turn up anytime after 5pm. I guess I’ve learned to trust them but not in the way they’d want me to. You get where I’m coming from?

So going forward I will be more defined when answering the question. I will define the area or behaviour that I can trust in a person and if asked why I’m doing so I might just point out that there are areas that I may struggle to trust them in. “Mate, your time keeping sucks but I know you’ll tell me the truth about…”

Think about it. Don’t give a person your trust too cheaply. Define the things in others that are trustworthy but do not overlook their failings. To do so is to set yourself up for failure because if they don’t deliver, and you knew, deep down or from previous experience, they were not likely to deliver on the trust you gave then that’s your bad. Don’t judge them for it. You knew and you still gave them something they couldn’t handle.

Extending trust should be taken responsibly. It’s a precious commodity. Spend it wisely and you can avoid disappointment.

Yours, reconsidering my approach,

Wic