Pogue,

I had a conversation earlier with a person who seemed to want my attention. The person launched into a triad of opinions on a situation that had occurred. For some moments it was standing watching a train pass. Then there was a pause. I mistook this for the invitation to respond. My bad! They’d actually come up for air. I managed to get out four or five words before I was spoken over, loudly. So I politely listened and then when the next gap came I began to offer some wisdom and…I was cut short and spoken over again, more loudly. I had now got the gist of the situation so just listened patiently until they had expended all the energy that they had.

Called me old fashioned or retro but I like manners. In fact I do believe that “manners make the man” or woman. That one’s ability to restrain one’s emotions or not insist on our opinion being the correct one is a testament to character. That making one’s argument clearly and succinctly is far more affective than increasing the volume when someone may not agree with you. In deed, if you find yourself falling back on volume to make your case you undoubtedly need a better argument. In this instance I smiled, made my goodbyes and walked away.

Why am I telling you this? Because I am currently coming up against so many instances of people who want to make a point and expecting me, and you, to hear what they have to say, will behave like the person I met today. If I can find room to disagree, or maybe expand the discussion into areas that whilst broadening understanding may weaken they case, I am going to get talked over or shouted down or attacked for some sort of “ism” I’m sure I don’t have but serves to invalidate my understanding or opinion. It’s everywhere! In books, on the media, on the streets. More than once recently I have found myself thinking (not verbalising) “have you any idea what you’re saying or proposing?” being able to see the possible consequences of certain arguments or proposed actions. I’m reading articles and books that are blinkered in their thesis and deny the existence of alternative views by actively ignoring their existence.

Maybe I am privileged in the education I have received but I was taught that the best way to strengthen your argument was to know the opposing argument and the better you know it, the better you could make yours. Indeed, reading a differing view has on occasion modified my view and enlarged my understanding. But, so, so many people are ready to believe and buy into what they are told without question. SHEEP! There’s always another side, a differing view, an alternate experience. Even academics have differing views and come at things from different angles, and dare I say, with different prejudices or more sinisterly, hidden agendas. Just because a person has a title or qualifications doesn’t make them right.

How many times have I listened to the news only to find out at a later date that the initial reports were inaccurate or skewed for the sake of sensationalism and opinion winning.

So often it’s not what we’re told but more a case of what we are not told. What’s being ignored to the detriment of the truth. And again, so many do not want to look beyond what they are being fed. Social media just makes this worse with so many prepared to jump on board if presented with an opinion they favour or a bit of controversy.

You and I, lets keep an open mind and a desire to always broaden our understanding. A step back may allow us to strengthen our position or, change our position. Seek to understand. The world would be a better place, believe me, if people did this.

Yours, avoiding arguments where possible,

Wic