I needed to drop you a note. You will remember your Christmas gift to me. A Harley Davidson Fatboy. You so understand me! It was wonderful. It was horrible. It was Lego!
Now as you know I don’t do jigsaws. I don’t understand why I’d want to put together a picture that I can already appreciate from the lid of the box. No, life’s too short for that. SO…you give me a 3D jigsaw and slip it under the wire, through the back door by disguising it as a Fatboy. You’re such a bad daughter! How could I not like it?
So yesterday, deep in lockdown, I opened the box.
I mean, it had been on the shelf throughout lockdown whispering: “Open me, make me. You know you want to”. I put on my headphones, chose my music with thought and opened the box. Well, actually that took several minutes as Lego don’t make it obvious. Then I opened the instruction book. It’s 150 pages long! You’re having a laugh! Did my parenting skills offend you this much? I spent the first 10 minutes reading and trying to make sense. The box said if I’m over 16 years of age I’ll understand. IT LIED.
Apparently it comes in stages and each stage is in it’s own bag. Except it’s not. Having opened Bag 1 and emptied the contents onto a tray I commenced. By the time I reached the third instruction it was apparent Lego had short changed me on the pieces. There were some missing. And when you’re looking for a single piece half the size of my finger nail you’re going to do a lot of looking! About the same time I discovered I had been given a defective gift I found another Bag 1 and then, yes, another Bag 1. I know you’re smiling as you read this and sensing a deep feeling of satisfaction. I shall not forget this.
So, after an hour and a half I had built a subframe. I had run out of time. But…I have to admit to a certain amount of pleasure and a small feeling of achievement. I even felt I was getting the better of the Lego man who had strived to make this as difficult as possible even before you open the box.
Am I going to disowned you as a daughter? I’m still out on that one.